Public Safety

Click the place markers to see the week's police activity. If markers overlap, zoom in for better viewing, or click here to see a bigger map.

This week in crime: There are days when I can keep my sense of humor about this weekly bozo parade, and days when I cannot. This was a cannot day; note the drunken-driving arrest at Maumee and Fisher, in which an underage young woman drove into a light pole on the corner. How did this happen? She had a .16 blood-alcohol level, a bag of marijuana in her purse, and thought 3:25 a.m. behind the wheel of a car would be a good place and time to text her ex-boyfriend. The next thing she knew, she was crashing into a light pole. Who could have foreseen such an outcome, right? 

The only thing that keeps me from busting an artery at times like these is the 3:25 a.m. part. At least I know I'm not bicycling at that hour. Although I see plenty of these yo-yos making mischief during the day. 

Elsewhere? Oh, you know: Stealing stealing stealing hitting stealing stealing. The hitting was an assault in the Woods, between teenage boys, which started over, get this, baseball heckling. The heckled brought a blackjack to a smack-talkin' fight. Ah, testosterone, the engine of the world. Be safe in these last, humid days of the season. And save the texting for red lights, at the very least.

– Nancy Nall Derringer

Public-safety reports are gathered from public documents made available by individual police departments. Locations represented by place markers are approximate. Comments? Suggestions? Send feedback to nderringer@grossepointetoday.com

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